Get to know your mother

OK, I admit that I've got mother on the brain. Tis the season. My last posting was about writing a letter to your mom, saying all the things you'd want to say if you knew you were going to die, then exploring how the act of writing that letter might shift your relationship with her.

Then I came across an article in REAL SIMPLE magazine that I thought was REAL GOOD. The more I read, the more I recalled that my best times with my mom have been when we've had time alone together and I've curiously asked her questions about her life. Did she always believe in God? What did she think when she met my father for the first time? Does she have any regrets? What keeps her up at night?

She's fascinating to me, just as I'm sure your mom is to you, or would be if you really got to know her. Knowing more about my mom teaches me about myself, but more importantly I get a much clearer picture of who she really is, I feel my love for her more deeply and we become closer.

Part of the purpose of Bcelebrated is to help people to live more inspired lives. I think this list of questions to ask mom, (you could use them for dad too), is a great resource of inspiration.

Ten Questions to Ask Your Mother

Enjoy!

Debra

A deeper connection with mom

I don't know if it's just because Mother's Day is right around the corner but young moms seem to be coming out of the woodwork to tell us here at Bcelebrated how much they appreciate the chance to leave private pages for their kids. This was not something we had expected. We thought that the service would appeal mostly to boomers who were facing their own mortality, or helping their aging parents make the transition.

It turns out that becoming a mom inspires some women to face their own mortality. To our surprise young and not so young moms are catching on to the benefits of Bcelebrated faster than anyone. They are vitally aware of the cycle of life and the importance of leaving a message of love that will last forever.

When my girlfriend Nancy told me why Bcelebrated was important to her it helped me understand the perspective of moms. She said:

"I lost my mother when my daughter was born so I know what a void a departed mother can leave. I have often wondered how I could help prepare my own daughter for this difficult transition when that time comes for her. As emotional as this thought can be, Bcelebrated gives me a unique way to comfort her in some way when I am gone. I have things I would love to share with her about life and about my life in particular that she won't truly appreciate until she is older and more experienced, maybe even as a mother herself. In writing the private page for my her it brings into focus the things I want to tell her. And this opens up a possibility of a deeper connection now while I am still alive."

I'm especially drawn to the idea that as Nancy writes private messages to her daugther, messages that will not be read until my friend has passed away, it opens up the possibility of a deeper connection between the two of them now.

 

I don't have a daughter, but I am a daughter, and it got me thinking...

What if I wrote a letter to my mom with the thought that she would read it only after I am gone? Might I open up a possibility of a deeper connection with her now? 

I don't know the answer but I'm going to find out.

Why not try it with me? 

Write what you would say to your mom if you knew you were going to die. 

How does it shift your relationship just to write it out? Do you feel more gratitude, are you compelled to share the letter with her now? 

Let me know if you try this, with your mom (or daughter), and what you discover. 

Happy Mother's Day