Why you want to have a brush with death

After a wonderful trip to Hawaii I returned to life as I know it in Sunny Santa Monica and got back into the groove of my every day life. Saturday morning I woke from a dream about a Tsunami. Now I know that dreams of water signify emotions and a Tsunami would be a LOT of emotion. In the dream I could see the Tsunami coming but nobody else could. Everyone was going about their business. Since the water wasn't going to harm anyone so there was no point in creating alarm.

A few hours later I was having lunch with a friend and my husband called. Turns out there'd been an earthquake in Chile hours earlier and a Tsunami was heading for Hawaii, where we'd just been, where my good friends still were. He told me that Nancy had just called to say goodbye in case they didn't make it through. I was shocked to hear the news, and at the same time felt very calm, knowing that they would be ok, perhaps because of the dream. I prayed that they would feel peace and find their inner resources to deal with the stress that is must be causing them.

As you know by now Hawaii wasn't affected by the Tsunami, and so my friends were fine. When Nancy returned home we had a talk about the experience. She kept saying how good it was for her. I delved deeper into the reasons for that. She said that facing her own death - and death felt like a very real possibility when she was woken by alarms and friends telling her to evacuate the area - things became clear.

She was happy to be with her husband and daughter. She was appreciative of the time we'd just had. She reached out to her family and let them know how much she loved them. She was surprised to find that she was without regret, and decided that if she made it through she'd like to have more fun. Maybe even drink more - that made me laugh since I decided to drink more, with only a year to live. (Neither of us really drink at all so drinking more is pretty minimal.)

Something happens when we face death. Things become crystal clear. The unimportant drivel that fills most of our waking hours, repeating itself over and over in our minds, is stripped away. What's left in its place is what really matters to us. As our life plays before our eyes we can reflect with gratitude or regret.

That's why I am living this year as if I have a year to live. It gives me a chance to review my life, get clear on what matters, and express my love to those I cherish. It's been a blessing to discover that I don't have regrets, that my relationships are solid and loving. I've been fortunate to do work that I'm passionate about, and have friends I care deeply about. My life has been a treasure, and while I've always been grateful, A Year to Live has made it all so very very clear.

I encourage you to take the challenge and live as if you only have a year to live, before you have your own brush with death. You'll be amazed at how facing death can enrich your life.

Swimming With Dolphins

Intention, Acceptance, Surrender, Gratitude

These four words were the theme of my week in Hawaii. Immediately after deciding to experiment with a Year to Live I created a bucket list. It isn't long: 1) spend more time with the people I love and 2) swim in the wild with dolphins.

Just after I wrote it, the chance to meet my girlfriend Nancy and her family on the big island of Hawaii presented itself. Seemed like an opportunity to check items off the list. We found a wonderful house to stay, booked our flights, and momentum carried us the rest of the way. If I was a more organized person I would have spent at least a bit of time researching what's involved in swimming with dolphins. I know when dealing with wild beings there's never a guarantee, but a little research might have increased the odds that it would actually happen.

A few people recommended places where I could swim with dolphins in captivity, but I love these creatures too much to do that. To me it's the equivalent of putting good gentle humans in jail so another species can be entertained by us and learn about us. Dolphins live with their families (pods) for their entire lives, communicate with each other through individual whistle sounds, can swim up to 20 mph and travel 3 - 7 miles a day. Their skin is made up of live cells and is incredibly sensitive, with no protection from bumps and bruises. In captivity they are taken from their pods, forced to swim in small circles, subjected to harmful noises, and handled by people for long periods of time. None of this is "natural" or healthy for them. Perhaps one of the saddest facts about dolphins in captivity is that tens of thousands of dolphins are killed each year during the hunt to provide dolphins for aquariums and "swim with dolphins" locations. It would break my heart to be part of this, as much as I want to experience them up close.

Back to Hawaii. The week was more than I could have hoped for. Lots of time to connect with my friends, time to play with my god-daugther Faith, beautiful sunrises, yoga, fabulous food and a community of interesting people who invited us to parties and took us on a hikes across the black lava fields, and to lush waterfalls. It was heaven. When I inquired about swimming with dolphins I got mixed responses: Yes, dolphins are spotted occassionaly at the black beach where we were staying. No, dolphins hadn't been seen there in a month. A few people recommended I drive up to Kona and take a boat tour which would pretty much guarantee that I'd see them.

Over the past two months decision-making has become much clearer for me. It was more important to spend time with my friends, than take a day away from our short trip to swim with dolphins. A bucket list is not a bunch of items to be checked off as accomplished at any cost, but rather meaningful experiences that I want to savor.

It had been my Intention to swim with them. I Accepted that it wasn't likely to happen. I Surrendered to the flow of the trip that lead from one great experience to another, and I was Grateful for the time to connect with my friends in a beautiful, warm location.

On the final morning before our flight I sat in meditation just before the sun rose. I had the strangest feeling that the dolphins were calling. My husband and I walked down to the black sand beach as the sun was rising. The water was calm and warmer than it had been. Far out there were two people swimming. I told Mark, "They're swimming with dolphins". And they were. We swam out and joined them. They welcomed us as friends. The woman sang through her snorkel mask and the dolphins LOVED it. Sticking close to her, we were surrounded by the pod of 20+ spinner dolphins. It was better than I could have hoped for. It was private and magical. The dolphins were playful and graceful and they filled my heart. I cried with gratitude for the gift that they are. It was so much more than an item to check off my list.