Living life like it's a basketball game.

Seven years ago my husband stopped me while walking out of a bar to watch the last few seconds of a basketball game. While I didn't mind the delay, it seemed ridiculous to watch when the game had clearly been decided. (I knew NOTHING about basketball)There were less than 3 seconds on the clock. Lakers were down by two. Kobe got the ball and nailed a three pointer to win the game. From that moment on I've been a basketball fan, specifically a Lakers fan. The team has struggled since then and it wasn't until last year that they became a championship team again, but I've enjoyed watching them through the ups and downs, changes in players, and the drama that only a team from Los Angeles could manufacture.

I love to watch the skill of the pros, I especially enjoy it when a game is close and there's no telling who's going to win. The obstacles faced, the challenges overcome, the drive and passion players bring to the game, get my heart racing.

Basketball is like life, condensed into 48 minutes, with breaks for commercials:

• It's important to find a good coach. Someone who's been where you want to be, is willing to guide you, and let you make your mistakes.
• You can't do it on your own. It' important to surround yourself with a good team.
• All that practicing done in private will determine how you play in public. The skill of your opponents makes you stronger.
• You'll never know the thrill of victory from sitting on the bench.
• It's not how many minutes you play that matters, it's what you do during those minutes that counts.
• Nothing will bring more focus to your game than the clock counting down to the final two minutes.

My desire to live 2010 as if I only have A Year To Live is to bring some of that "two minute" intensity to my own game. Anything I've read about the end of life says that people become more alive when they are given a terminal diagnosis than they ever were during their life prior. When time is running out, we get a chance to give it our all. I don't want to wait till the end of my life to know what that's like. And if I die unexpectedly, I'll never get that chance, so I'm taking myself through the drill now. And I've been fortunate to have excellent coaches so far.

Brugh Joy is a beautiful teacher with whom I had the pleasure of learning. Earlier this year he was diagnosed with a recurrence of pancreatic cancer. He had beat it 16 years earlier. Throughout his journey of treatments and further diagnosis he shared his experiences with his students. In one posting he wrote: "When you have death on your left shoulder... life is ever so amplified." He was living the "two minute intensity". A few weeks ago my friend Sugar got to do a meditation with him. She said, "he's never been so alive." Brugh passed on from this life to his next on December 23 at 7:30pm. But he lived, really lived, with intensity, integrity and an open heart. Like a pro!

Is Fear of Death Really A Fear of Life?

“For death begins with life's first breath. And life begins at touch of death” ~ John Oxenham

As people have signed up to join our experiment of A Year To Live, many have expressed a fear of dying. Some people have inquired about the experiment without committing, telling me they fear that if they commit to this they might bring death upon themselves. Others have asked me to change the name of the experiment so it would be more comfortable.  A year to live out loud, A year to Live of purpose. There have been several options presented. I haven't agreed to change the name because adding anything to it would suggest how I want people to live, and I have no desire to do that. 

What I'm really asking people to do is commit to A YEAR TO LIVE. Emphasis on LIVE. A challenge to live would inspire me to be and do something very different than it would for you. That's the beauty of this experiment. I don't expect our experiences to be all the same. And without living as if it's our last year we would lose the intensity that the nearness of death brings.

With some of these folks I've gotten into deeper conversations already. It turns out for some participants, what lies behind their fear of death is actually a fear of life. One participant said, "I've been on autopilot for over a decade. It's about time I started living." Another wrote, "I am so enmeshed in survival, which is more about not dying than living". A third said, "I'm not sure if I have the guts to do what I really want to do." Does any of this sound familiar? 

They all had valid reasons for their fear of living: Looking after an aging parent, potential of being ostracized by their family if they follow their dreams, worrying what will happen if they don't do what's expected of them.

We all have reasons for suppressing our passions, dampening our light, and doing what is required to maintain the status quo. So while I think it's true that many of us fear death, since we tend to fear with that which is unknown, I think it is also true that just as many of us may actually fear living. We've become so use to surviving, coping, and getting by that we've never challenged ourselves to LIVE. 

A Year to Live is just that- a year to live with full intensity, integrity, surrender, or whatever calls you. To live as if it's the most important year, and will never come again. To live with full knowledge that one day you'll be gone. There's a chance some of us in this experiment won't live to the end of the year. There's a chance that I won't. While our own death, and preparing for it, will be a bigger part of our consciousness this year than it usually is, we'll be using it as the inspiration to live more fully now.  I'm a believer that what you resist persists and that by fearing death we perpetuate it's hold over us and miss the opportunity to really live.

“For death begins with life's first breath. And life begins at touch of death” 

What does this quote mean to you?

Embracing the Cycle of Life and Death

I'm continually amazed by who's joining the experiment A YEAR TO LIVE. We have everyone from CEOs to hospice workers, yoga teachers, health practitioners, funeral directors, and retired couples, ranging in age from 30 - 70, but the person who's actually shocked me is Shilpa. 

Shilpa is a 36 year old professional woman living in Los Angeles. She's a wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and mother to an 18 month old son. What's so shocking about that, you ask? Well, the fact that a mom of an 18 month old is willing to consider living as if she only has a year to live is pretty surprising, but the shocking part is that Shilpa is 17 weeks pregnant as I write this. 

She is the only person who's going to be living as though she's dying while growing a child inside her, truly embracing the cycle of life and death.  If her  "diagnosis" of a Year to Live were true Shilpa would be leaving behind a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old baby at the end of next year. I'm so intrigued by her decision to do this, what inspired her and what the year will be like for her, that I've asked her to contribute to my blog throughout the year to share her unique experience. This is what she had to say when I asked her why she's joining this experiment:

So I am taking the Bcelebrated A Year to Live Challenge in 2010.   Am I crazy, especially since I have a 18 month olson and another baby arriving in June 2010?  The thought of having only one more year with my son and six months with my newborn is NERVE-RACKING and HEARTBREAKING.  

My husband asked me why I want to take on a challenge that is so emotionally trying and quite frankly difficult to face. Well, I am the type of person who is willing to take risks and this is an opportunity for me to learn more about me!  Over the course of the year,  I will get the chance to create my own bucket list, heal broken relationships, foster stronger bonds with my family and friends and of course explore new adventures.    

With me being pregnant, I can only only do so much, however, I look forward to explore the deeper meaning of my life and my actions.  I don't want to look back and say coulda, shoulda, woulda.

I hope you will all join us as we take this journey.  I am feeling very scared and nervous  but 2010 is my year to LIVE and  I believe it will be an enlightening experience.

As Lance Armstrong says "LIVE STRONG" ~  Shilpa

To find out more about  A YEAR TO LIVE email me. Debra@Bcelebrated.com

An Honest Dilemma about A YEAR TO LIVE

I got an email last week from a woman who had a real dilemma about the invitation to live next year as if she only has A YEAR TO LIVE.  

She wrote that if she really had a year to live she'd want to visit all of her family across the country, followed by a round the world trip with her husband and dog. She would return home to visit all her friends and sit on back deck of her house enjoying a coffee. She wrote, "Now that just isn't realistic. In fact I have just taken on a new business venture so what's a girl to do? How can I join a challenge going into a year where I am going to work my ass off and won't be able to fulfill my ideal?" 

 

I wrote that while I couldn't tell her what to do, two things came to mind:

One - perhaps it wasn't the right time to take on the challenge. Two - There might be a way to do it all if she was able to look at the underlying desires she was expressing. Could it be that she wanted quality time with her family, adventures with her husband, and relaxing time at home?  Is there another way to fulfill the underlying desires without forsaking her new business ventures.

A few days later she told me she had an epiphany. She has already planned a trip to Costa Rica for 2010 with her husband and her siblings and their spouses. That trip was going to satisfy her desire for adventure with her husband and time with her family. Knowing that she was already fulfilling some of her desires she decided to commit to A YEAR TO LIVE and see how much more she could enjoy in 2010.

It's a good exercise for each of us to look at the underlying desires that prompt our thinking ~ "the desire fueling the desire". Before we determine we can't do something it might be valuable to look at what we hope to get from that experience and explore if there's something we could do that would give us that same result.

Are you interested in joining our experiment of living 2010 as if you only have  A Year To Live - contact me at debra@Bcelebrated.com