Who are you living for?

Hosting this contest to celebrate Grandparent's Day  got me thinking : who I am living for?

A few weeks ago M.J. Essenmacher told us how her children help her find the true meaning of happiness in her busy world of running a catering company.  Ann  Middleman shared the things she does with her grandkids that will create wonderful memories for them after she is gone. Both those stories, and those from many other grandmas touched my heart. Some were deep.  Some were funny. All were filled with love.

Then I received two stories from Grandpas. They were filled with love and pride and even some humor. What was strikingly different about these stories was that both grandparents, in their own way, told us that their grandsons give them a reason to live. 

Richard Landis’s grandson is 8 months old. Richard’s daughter is a working mom, so Richard has been looking after his grandson since he was only one week old. Recently Richard was diagnosed with cancer. He told us that looking after his grandson is the best medicine possible for him. He gets a boost of life from knowing what his grandson likes and doesn’t like, what games to play, what songs to sing and how to settle him down when he’s upset.

Bill Donovan couldn’t say enough about his 8 year old grandson. He gushed over how special he is, how handsome he is and how athletic he is. At eight years old his football coach has already predicted he’ll be on a full scholarship one day. Bill proudly told me to remember his grandson’s name: Josh Reilly Donovan, cause he’s going to be a superstar.  While I enjoyed reading this, Bill really got me when he said he's trying to get healthier so he can live long enough to see what his grandson will be.

It made me think about the incredible gift children give their parents and grandparents: a reason to live. I have friends who are moms and they tell me that they started thinking about their own death as soon as they had kids. Being responsible for their children gave them a strong will to live. I know of parents with terminal illness who've lived long enough to attend their daughter's wedding or son's graduation, and then peacefully slipped away. That kind of love and commitment is an incredible legacy to leave.

I don't have kids and there's nobody in life that's 100% reliant on me. If I were to die my husband would look after our dog. We even have a guardian appointed for him if we both die. Though I'm loved by many, nobody NEEDS me to stay alive. It got me thinking - Who am I living for?

I love my life. I adore my husband. I cherish my relationships with my family and friends. I live in a little cottage, by the ocean, in a sunny climate. I feel a rush of freedom when I ride my bike, peace from my spiritual practice, and a deep sense of joy most of the time. I consider myself to be truly blessed. But who I'm living for?

There was a time many years ago when I was sick. So sick I was bed-ridden and I couldn't move without a great deal of pain. The pain was so bad I considered suicide for a time. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't bare the grief it would have caused my mom and brother. So, I've "not died" for someone, but I think that's different from living for someone.

I guess I am living for myself. I feel a bit embarrassed at how shallow that sounds as those words appear on the screen, but it's true. I am living for the joy I feel inside, for the connection to spirit that is bigger than me, for the adventure that each new day brings and the experience of being alive.

Who are you living for? I really want to know, so please share your thoughts with us.

Let those you are living for know how much you care by leaving a private page for them on your Bcelebrated site. If you haven't got a site, sign up for free now.

To read more of the stories shared by grandparents, join us on FACEBOOK.

Experiences worth remembering

What do you remember about your grandparents? 

I only had one grandparent, Stella Aucoin. I remember the softness of her skin when she'd put her arms around me, the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed, the smell of apple pie and cleanliness in her house, and the way she patiently waiting for me as we descended the steps of the Toronto subway system. 

Memories fascinate me. We all remember things in different ways. And sometimes I wonder if I really remember something, or I've just heard the story so many times that I've created a memory of it. I've heard my uncle Clifford talk about little Debbie sneaking sips of aunt Anne's special juice, vodka and orange, so many times that I swear I can remember myself as the precocious three year old sitting in the needle point chair in their living room. I can feel the heavy crystal glass in my hand and I'm sure I can taste the "screwdriver". Even if I've adopted these memories as my own, I don't care. I love the way they make me feel. They connect me to my family and the fun times we've had.

It is said that relationships are made or destroyed through an accumulation of the "little things". The feelings you have about any person in your life have most likely developed over time, due to a variety of experiences you've had with him or her. The person you can always count on to help you when you are in a jam, the one who makes you laugh when nothing feels funny, or the one who says "let's get together" but is always too busy.

The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren can be special. Grandparents don't have to be the disciplinarians, and often have more free time than parents. They can offer a unique perspective and advice. They can be energized by the burst of youth and joy that grandchildren offer. Together grandparents and grandchildren can create memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.

No one knows that better than Ann Middleman. 500 miles can't stop this grandma from having a great relationship with her grandchildren. Ann lives in New York and her grandsons live in North Carolina. She says her objective is go give them extraordinary experiences. Ann and her husband have already taken Eli and Jesse to the Great Smokey Mts, Disney World, Broadway shows, museums and plan to take them on a European vacation soon. "Eventually, when we are no longer here," says Ann "I hope they will feel that we made a real difference; that we shared terrific experiences with them; things they'll remember their whole lives." 

I have no doubt that these lucky boys will have extraordinary memories of their grandparents, but it might be for the "little things" as much as the great. Ann and her husband speak to their grandsons on the phone daily. They've become long distance babysitters. Recently Ann started buying two copies of books. She sends one down to the boys in North Carolina and keeps one at home in New York. Now when they call their grandsons they read to them over the phone and the boys follow along with their copy of the book. I'm sure it's memories like this that will fill out a joyful childhood for Eli and Jesse.

How will your memories be kept alive for your grandchildren? Create your Bcelebrated site today and ensure your relationships will be cherished for a lifetime.

If you don't have the kind of relationship that you want to have with your grandkids,what little thing could you do today to start building it? 

 

True meaning of happiness, as taught by our grandchildren

This business gives me such JOY! 

Yesterday I was interviewed for a radio show called A Touch of Grey. Richard Neer, the interviewer, understood the concept of Bcelebrated as soon as I described it. He said, "it may be our own dysfunction but sometimes it's easier for us to record how we really feel about someone than it is to tell them. This site will be very therapeutic for some families as they get to read the pages written by the member who has passed away." He REALLY GOT IT. It's true that we hope this site will be therapeutic; a source of comfort and healing for those left behind when a loved one passes away. 

As we developed Bcelebrated I dreamed that it would also inspire people to live more fully, to be grateful for the life they have, the experiences, and especially the relationships. It's always been my intention to find ways to bring more joy into people's lives through this venture. Well, I know it's working for at least one person - ME.

Though I have wonderful memories of my grandmother, it's unlikely I'll ever get to experience the joy of being a grandmother. (I'm 45 years old and have no children). So, I'm enjoying vicariously through the fine grandmas and grandpas who've shared their stories with us. 

M.J. Essenmacher runs a busy catering company in Tuscon, Arizona. Any woman who's run her own business knows how hectic that is, but a catering business takes the madness to a whole new level.

"I think the reason I love the relationship with my grandchildren is because they bring a sense of innocence into my life." says Ms. Essenmacher.  "I usually don’t have time to “smell the roses”…but when I get those grandbabies for a day, or a night, they bring such a joy to me, that it’s hard to explain in words !! Their pure innocence is breathtaking, and really puts things in perspective…it’s not always about working and letting all the stress of the work-a-day world get to you – it IS the simple pleasures of life, it’s the way they see things, the way the feel things, and especially the way they say things that can really put you in your place, and it’s a place I need in my life every once in awhile to make me realize that their world revolves around a sense of being, a sense of belonging, a sense of meaning, a sense of growing and a sense of giving…and we should all take that to heart, because – these things are the true meaning of happiness…"

They make me realize we are all “humans becoming”, not necessarily human beings, and they show me how to live life in the spirit of a picnic in the backyard.

M.J. is letting her grandchildren remind her of the deeper, simpler joys in life. 

Is someone doing that for you? Let them know how much they mean to you by creating a private page for them on your Bcelebrated site. Sign up for a FREE TRIAL today.